A Short Rendition of The Senses

SIGHT- the gooey awesomeness of a red lava lamp.
TOUCH- the immense weight of an unopened five hundred page book.
SOUND- blaring music, so loud my jeep bounces up and down.
TASTE- a healthy sweet onion chicken teriyaki footlong sandwich from Subway.
SMELL- a cool, clear ocean breeze while sitting on a beach in Hawaii.

Short Parody of Coach Bo's 3d Period Class

Coach Bo had just handed back a test, and we all gasped in unison. We had all received a zero. Again. At this rate, everyone would be failing by the end of the week.

"Coach, what's up with this? The question was what equals two plus two, and I put four. Why is that wrong?" Samm asked.

"YOU KNOW WHAT, SAMM? I'M SICK OF YOUR ATTITUDE!" Coach Bo exploded.

Samm shrunk back in his chair, and became very pale. "I just asked a question-"

"IT WAS A STUPID QUESTION!" He fired back.

"Wow. Chill down." I muttered.

Coach Bo looked at me, and his eyes turned red. I mean, bright red. He reached out his arm, and I watched as it suddenly transformed into a fully functioning machine gun, pointed straight at me.

"CRAP! IT'S A DECEPTICON!" Samm screamed.

"RUNNNN!!!!" Logan shouted.

The rest of Coach Bo turned into a robot, and he began to clomp around the room, his feet making the floor shake with every step. He flashed the gun back and forth, firing at all of us. We hit the ground, and started to crawl towards the door.

Coach Bo's gun fired just as Mrs. Jaimes burst into the room, and transformed into a Mexican robot with a sombraro. She fired her bazoca gun at Coach Bo, and he exploded.

"YAH! MRS. JAIMES IS AN AWESOME AUTOBOT!" I yelled.

Mrs. Jaimes nodded at me, and yelled, "Autobots, roll out!" And turned into a small robotic car and raced out of the room.

And that concludes my short, stupid parody of Coach Bo's 3d period class.

Revenge is The Answer

The phrase "Not forgiving someone is like drinking poison and waiting for the other man to die" makes sense. Kind of. The whole drinking poison thing means that you can  hold a grudge, but it won't really effect the other person as much, so you'll feel crappy for no reason, so you shouldn't waste your time holding a grudge, and just suck it up and forgive them.

In my humble opinion, that's a load of bull honky.

I am VERY stubborn, so I'm a bit bias to NOT forgiving people. I can hold a grudge for a full ten years, and I have. For instance, when I was five, I told my mother to hold my pickle for me, and NOT EAT IT. Needless to say, she ate it. To this day, about ten years later, whenever I give my mother something edible of mine not to hold, I say, "NOT TO EAT IT. IT IS NOT A PICKLE."

In conclusion, I don't forgive people very much. If I like the person, I can forgive them. If not, you better run, or I will find you and go Chuck Norris on your (explicit word). Also, I don't really have that tiny voice in your head that tells you to do the right thing. I have many voices telling me to do the wrong thing. Therefor, the phrase about forgiveness shown above holds no meaning to me whatsoever.

Don't forgive people, get your revenge! It's funner!

Fly In The White House!

If I could be a fly on the wall, I would choose to spy on Obama. I would creep, ninja style, into the White House, and activate my super-awesome-stealthy-invisibility suit. I would tip-toe through the oval office, and spy on the president.

It would then be reveled to me that Obama is actually Tyler Perry, who was researching for a new movie, Madea in The White House. I would take pictures of him removing his mask, and then I would sell them to the media for lots of cash.

I would be rolling around cash, gleefully enjoying my new money as Tyler Perry rotten in jail for ruining the country, all thanks to me, the fly on the wall.

(Okay, technically, I wasn't literally a fly. I interpreted the term "a fly on the wall" as someone who spies on other people. If this gets me in trouble, I protest that the blog instructed you to be a "fly on the wall", not an actual fly.)

Fun Land

Sunset at Fun Land!

If I could create a perfect place, I would make it look exactly like the state of Hawaii, minus the sharks and sting rays. Fun Land, the name of my utopia, would be governed by a queen, not a king, because I don't believe men make good choices in life. The queen's female children would inherit the crown, and so on, but nobody would be allowed to make a big deal about the royal weddings, or the royal people's everyday lives. This would avoid a very beloved royal woman to have a tragic death in a tunnel involving a taxi.

Energy would be supplied to Fun Land via solar panels, not wind turbans, because they totally ruin the scenery. The rules would be the same as in the United States, no stealing things, no raping people, and no killing people. (Unless the person is extremely annoying and bothers other people continuously.) Anyone could live there, as long as they aren't gangster impersonators. If you're really and truly gangster, you would be allowed in Fun Land.

The punishment for breaking three rules in Fun Land would be the removal of your arms and legs in front of all of your family and friends. If you break a fourth rule, you will be decapitated in front of everyone in Fun Land, and everyone would use your grave as a toilet. :)

!!!HUZZAH FOR FUN LAND!!!

(P.S, if you are banished from Kelsey's utopia because you refused to were sparkles, she didn't think you were physically attractive, or refused to be happy while wearing pink clothing, you will be accepted into Fun Land, and you and wear and look like whatever you want.)

(P.S.S, I think Kelsey's world is shallow. So is she if she believes that her world is perfect.)