OH MY GOSH! HE SO CUTE!

Sorry, I couldn't resist posting this. HE JUST SO CUUUUTTTEEE!

My blog for the week is Mean Girls In Hawaii, which can be located by clicking on the title of my blog. Or, if you already did that, you can scroll down to the post below this one.

Ah! He just so cute!

Mean Girls in Hawaii

A group of MEAN GIRLS were walking around a beach in beautiful Hawaii, oblivious to the dangers of their surroundings. As they walked, they struck up a conversation.

"You know who's looking fine today? Seth Mosakowski." Karen, an air-headed-blond stated.

"Okay, you did not just say that." Gretchen, a spunky brunette said.

"What? He's a good kisser." Karen protested.

"He's your cousin." Gretchen said.

"Yeah, but he's my first cousin." Karen stated.

"Right!" Gretchen said.

"So, you have your cousins, and you have your first cousins, and then you have your second cousins-"

"No, honey," Gretchen interrupted. "Uh-uh."

"That's not right, is it?"

"That is so not right."

"Gah, Karen, you are so stupid!" Regina George said, flipping her blond hair.

"You're not stupid, Karen." Cady said.

"No, I am actually. I'm failing almost everything!"

"Well, there must be something you're good at."

"I can stick my whole fist in my mouth! Wanna see?"

Just before Karen was going to demonstrate her talent, a coconut fell from a palm tree, and hit Regina George on the top of her head.

And that's how Regina George died.

Smokey Tha Bandit and His Gang of Hooligans

"Smokey! Tha weally big dowg is on to us agwain! We gotta get out of hea!" Pokey pleaded.

"No. We gonna get that twash can." Smokey said. "The wotwiler not gonna get hea untwill we long gone. We gotta get to that leftova tuwky!"

"But boss-" Dopy started.

"No buts. We be so close!" Smokey said greedily, rubbing his paws together. "I can awmost taste that stuff'n!"

Smokey gave the signal, and his gang charged at the trash can. Pokey toppled the can in one hit, sending the metal can to the ground with a large bang. Dopy tossed the lid aside, and dragged out the leftover goodies from the Waters Family's Thanksgiving meal.

The hungry trio took their plunder halfway down the alley before the rottweiler caught sight of them. It barked, and charged at them. "Stop dat run'n, hooligans! Bark bark! I gonna catch ya!"

"Boss, we can't keep up wit you! We gonna have to drop the turkwy, or else the dowg gonna catch us!" Dopy cried.

"No! You two go own ahead, I will deal wit tha dowg!" Smokey told them as he turned around to face the mutt.

"I got ya now, ya devil in disguise! Or some'tin!" the rottweiler growled, lowering his head.

Smokey gasped. "You know my secwet?"

"Bark! I smelled trouble on ya, and it took me a bit to figa out why, but I did. You a cat!"

Smokey got down on his paws and fur-covered knees, and begged, "Pwease, don't tell tha racoons. They twink I'm smawt, I get to boss them awound, and the food is much bettaw than catnip! I'm live'n tha sweet wife! Don't make me go back to da old wady!" Smokey wined.

"Why shwould I take pitwy on ya?" the rotweiler questioned. "Ya and your gang stealed from innocent peoples twash cans!"

"PWEASE! There must be some kinda deal we can make!" Smokey cried.

The rottweiler thought a moment. "Fine. I'll keep ya dirtwy wittle secwe, if ya stop steawing tha Waters family's trash."

"Deawl," Smokey said, shaking the dog's paw. "I'll go tell da boys, and we won't bothwa yas anymores."

Smokey scampered off into the night, and Rodger the rottweiler smiled in victory as he successfully defended his owner's trashcan from the nighttime criminals known as Smokey the bandit and his gang of hooligans.

Smelly The Disgusting Horse

Smelly the disgusting horse was standing in his stall, wondering how to scratch his derrière. As he continued to contemplate his problem, the irritation in his backside grew. At last, Smelly couldn't take it anymore.

He backed up against the fence, and neighed in contentment as his gluteus maximus was satisfied.

Little did Smelly know that Fancy, his lady horse lover, was watching. She whinnied in disgust, and galloped over to Smelly to tell him that their relationship was over.

 So Smelly, a lonely, single horse, scratched his groove thang in dismay.

We're Gonna Need a Body Bag. Make It Three.

A father and his daughter were fishing beside a peaceful river, enjoying a relaxing evening of fishing and father-daughter bonding. The father handed his daughter Trina the pole, and instructed her to wait until the line was pulled taunt, then she could real in a fish.

As soon as Trina took the pole, she felt a tug. "Daddy, can I pull it now?"

"Sure!" The father said, astonished that a fish took the bait so quickly.

The little girl pulled, but the fish pulled back. "Daddy, I can't real it in! Help!"

"You can do it, just real it in some more, and-" the father stopped speaking when the line snapped. The girl started to cry. "It's okay honey. We'll get it next time."

Trina pointed at the middle of the river, and asked, "Daddy, what's that?"

The father looked, and gasped. He took out his cell phone, and called the sheriff. "Don, we're gonna need a body bag. It looks like the gator got another person. No, I only see a bloody leg, and the guy's head is bobbing in some water weeds. I think that-"

Before the father could finish, he the giant jaws of a mammoth-sized gator opened wide, and swallowed the man and his daughter in one bite. The gator sank back into the river, it's stomach full of bodies. He enjoyed the feeling of being satisfied, but the gator acknowledged that he would have to feed again.

And soon.

(scary music starts to play)