THIS BLOG POST IS DEDICATED TO JORDAN!!!
LAST TIME WITH AWESOME MIND BENDER Winter Woman (who is actually Carly) was kicked out of my awesome used-to-be secret lair, which is located in Metropolopolus, by Super Juan (who is really Logan), who can do cartwheels of super awesomeness. Juan and I had an epic battle, which ended with SJ towering over me. Darn.
Super Juan then did what I didn't expect him to do.
He did a happy dance, which was the wobble. "Yay! I beat a super villain! I'm Super Juan! I can do a cartwheel!" Super Juan said, and everyone knows that this is his famous catch phrase. While he was distracted doing his happy dance, I crawled toward the door, and flew away to safety.
I found my best friend, Jordan, at his new lair in Clarendon, which he recently moved to, to the great sadness of Wellington.
"Jordan, other wise known as Cripple, my awesomest, best friend in the whole world, can you help me out? My lair has been compromised by Super Juan and Winter Woman. If you could help me out just a little, I could pay you back, like, super quick! PLEEEEAAASE???!!!
He happily obliged, since I'm his best friend EVER! Using his super powers, which is bulletproofness, he stole lots of money from a bank, and gave half of the money to me.
I promised him that I would pay him back, but he said: "That that's booty! Since you're my super awesome best friend, you don't have to pay me back, think of this like a early Birthday present!"
I said something like, "AWWE! Thanks Jordan! You're the best Cripple ever!"(tecnically he's not a cripple anymore, his leg or whatever is all healed up, but I still call him that sometimes
With this new money, I found my new, totally awesome lair in Goth City, right in the ghetto, which is right next to Jonathan's hide out, since he raped Kelton for the 4th time in a week. My new place was located on the top floor of a huge, abandoned warehouse, which had lots of great views and property value.
I then made my name in the city by kidnapping the mayor and getting a ransom of $5,555,000. With that money, I gave to Jordan to buy the new video game he wanted. I then built a pool and filled it with cash, where I spent the rest of the afternoon, rolling around in stolen money. Again.
YAY! MONEY!
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