Dear Santa, I Hate You.

Dear Santa,

       I really hate you. You scared me to death as a child, and I was forced to sleep with a baseball bat under my bed, because I was terrified that you were going to sneak into my room, and kill me and my family. I used to spit into your milk, make your cookies with salt instead of sugar, and I totally made my cat lick the plate before putting the cookies on it. I hope you enjoyed your little snacks after you broke into my house each year.

      Needless to say, I'm a very naughty little girl. I set my bathroom on fire, blamed everything that I did wrong on my parents, and I got spanked at least twice a week as a child. I hated it when your reindeers pooped on my roof, and I really hate your stupid red jump suit. Fat old guys do not look good in bright colors. I don't really care this year if you fill my stocking with coal, because guess what! I'm going to Hawii for Christmas, and I'm going to enjoy it while you freeze on the North Pole.

Not so Sincerely,



Cassidy Davis