Perplexing Parody of The Twilight Saga Pt 4

Mrs. Waters, this is for my sick amusement. This is also part 4 of my parody of the Twilight Saga.


LAST TIME ON THE PERPLEXING PARODY OF THE TWILIGHT SAGA..... I'm going to make this really fast, because I really don't like summarizing what I've already written. So scroll down to my awesome archive, and read my other parts you persona discustingly perezosa de que no tengo gusto! That's right. I used Spanish to express my views of lazy people. OKAY SO...Jastan the Iguana Man and Friends started to fight the evil vampires. Jastan cut off Samm's head.

Girrrrrrr

"EEEEEWWWWEEE!" I squealed. "That was disgusting. I can't watch!" I turned away from the fight.

"EVERYONE STOP!" Kelsey screamed. What was she doing here? "Whatever you do, don't kill Samm! I love him! We are totally meant to be together forever! And I figured out what he is! He's totally a unicorn!" She yelled.

"Um. Kelsey, Samm wasn't a unicorn. He was a vampire. And Jastan the Iguana just killed him." I told her.

"WHAT?! NOOOOO!!!! I was supposed to fall madly in love with him, then a totally hot bad vampire would try to kill me, and Samm would save me, then he would leave me for my own protection, then he would come back after I do some really stupid stupid, like jump off of a cliff, then we would get married, and I would get pregnant with his demon baby, then I would nearly die in childbirth, and he would have to cut-"

"WHOOOOOOOAAA! STOP! Sam es realmente muerto.Al hombre de la iguana lo mató. ¡Apenas exept él Kelsey!" I told her in Spanish. Kelsey started to cry. She left, wailing about her lost love. I yelled after her: "¡Su recepción! ¡No es ninguna gran cosa que acabo de salvarle de parto terrible! ¡SIEMPRE!"

The dogs and Iguana Man started at me. "What?" I asked.

Chloe shook her head. "So... what happens now?" Chloe asked.

"Well, I think we should go all Chris Brown vs. Rihanna on each other." Mattie said.

"Great! So, who's Chris, and who's Rihanna?" Kacey asked.

"Well, obviously, I'm Chris Brown." Jastan stated.

"Wait, why do you get to be Chris?" Haley asked.

"Because I'm Iguana Man."

"THAT DOESN'T MAKE ANY SENSE!" Haley snarled, then jumped Jastan.

This caused a chain reaction, and soon, everyone except me was biting and scratching at each other. The fight was so violent, I couldn't bring myself to watch. I turned away. Then I looked back. Then I turned away. Then I looked back. Then I turned halfway away, then back. I had to watch this. It was just too epic not to. No. I wouldn't watch this violence. I forced myself to look away. Then I started to turn...then I looked away again. Oh, the indecision was killing me!

(Comment on post if you think I should look or not! If I look, I give a detailed description of what the fight is like. If not, something shocking happens! Don't forget to comment!)