 |
| !IT'S A PUKING UNICORN! |
Wednesday, December 21, 2011
Monday, December 19, 2011
Dear Santa, I Hate You.
Dear Santa,I really hate you. You scared me to death as a child, and I was forced to sleep with a baseball bat under my bed, because I was terrified that you were going to sneak into my room, and kill me and my family. I used to spit into your milk, make your cookies with salt instead of sugar, and I totally made my cat lick the plate before putting the cookies on it. I hope you enjoyed your little snacks after you broke into my house each year.
Needless to say, I'm a very naughty little girl. I set my bathroom on fire, blamed everything that I did wrong on my parents, and I got spanked at least twice a week as a child. I hated it when your reindeers pooped on my roof, and I really hate your stupid red jump suit. Fat old guys do not look good in bright colors. I don't really care this year if you fill my stocking with coal, because guess what! I'm going to Hawii for Christmas, and I'm going to enjoy it while you freeze on the North Pole.
Not so Sincerely,
Cassidy Davis
Friday, December 16, 2011
The Zombie Parody of Romeo and Juliet!
Click the link below for the first part to my undead saga of Romeo and Juliet! Starring Jeffery as Romeo, and Chloe as Juliet! And there's lots of zombies!
http://parodiesbycassidies.blogspot.com/2011/12/zombie-parody-of-romeo-and-juliet-pt-1.html
Don't forget to follow my new blog! Or a zombie will eat you!
http://parodiesbycassidies.blogspot.com/2011/12/zombie-parody-of-romeo-and-juliet-pt-1.html
Don't forget to follow my new blog! Or a zombie will eat you!
Tuesday, December 13, 2011
Anouncing My New Blog 4 My Parodies!
Click the link below to go to my new, awesome blog for my awesome parodies! It's for my sick amusement! Now, I can write whatever I want! YAH!! Don't forget to join my site, or I will have Jaws eat you in one of my parodies! XP
http://parodiesbycassidies.blogspot.com/
http://parodiesbycassidies.blogspot.com/
The Jaw-Dropping Parody of Jaws Pt. 3
Mrs. Waters, this is for my sick amusement. This is also my third part of The Jaw-Dropping Parody of Jaws.
LAST TIME ON THE JAW-DROPPING PARODY OF JAWS..... Michael, Yanci, Samm, and Kelsey disappeared while swimming in Lake Wellington. Britany and I went to go tell Mayor Tristan. That's it!
We entered Mayor Tristan's office, and he was playing with action figures. I cleared my throat, and he looked up. He saw us, and quickly hid his toys under his desk.
"What? Can't you see I'm busy?" He said.
"We need to tell you something." I said.
"Well, spit it out, emo person."
"I'm not emo!"
"We're getting off topic!" Britany yelled. "Samm and Kelsey just, like, got eaten! We were fishing, and Samm fell into the water, and we didn't see him again!"
"What happened to Kelsey?" Tristan asked. "How did she end up in the water?"
"That doesn't matter." Britany said quickly.
"Well, that makes four missing peoples." Mayor Tristan sighed.
"THEN CLOSE THE BEACH!" I yelled.
"You know what? No. Just because you were mean to me."
"I strongly dislike you at the moment, Tristan." I said.
"So you're just going to let more innocent people die?" Britany asked.
"Well, how about this- you two, along with another person, rent a small boat, go out on the lake, and bait whatever's eating people to come to your boat, you kill it, and everyone's happy? I get to keep the lake open, and you two get to risk your lives trying to kill an unknown marine animal!"
"YAY! That sounds like fun!" Me and Britany tapped each other's knuckles.
"But who are we going to take with us?" I asked Britany. "How about... JORDAN TORRES!"
"YAY! LET'S GO GET JORDAN!!!" Britany tapped my knuckles again, and said, "How about we bring Jastan along too!"
"YAH! THIS IS GOING TO BE SO AWESOME!" I yelled. We ran to get our awesome friends, and rent a small boat.
LAST TIME ON THE JAW-DROPPING PARODY OF JAWS..... Michael, Yanci, Samm, and Kelsey disappeared while swimming in Lake Wellington. Britany and I went to go tell Mayor Tristan. That's it!
We entered Mayor Tristan's office, and he was playing with action figures. I cleared my throat, and he looked up. He saw us, and quickly hid his toys under his desk.
"What? Can't you see I'm busy?" He said.
"We need to tell you something." I said.
"Well, spit it out, emo person."
"I'm not emo!"
"We're getting off topic!" Britany yelled. "Samm and Kelsey just, like, got eaten! We were fishing, and Samm fell into the water, and we didn't see him again!"
"What happened to Kelsey?" Tristan asked. "How did she end up in the water?"
"That doesn't matter." Britany said quickly.
"Well, that makes four missing peoples." Mayor Tristan sighed.
"THEN CLOSE THE BEACH!" I yelled.
"You know what? No. Just because you were mean to me."
"I strongly dislike you at the moment, Tristan." I said.
"So you're just going to let more innocent people die?" Britany asked.
"Well, how about this- you two, along with another person, rent a small boat, go out on the lake, and bait whatever's eating people to come to your boat, you kill it, and everyone's happy? I get to keep the lake open, and you two get to risk your lives trying to kill an unknown marine animal!"
"YAY! That sounds like fun!" Me and Britany tapped each other's knuckles.
"But who are we going to take with us?" I asked Britany. "How about... JORDAN TORRES!"
"YAY! LET'S GO GET JORDAN!!!" Britany tapped my knuckles again, and said, "How about we bring Jastan along too!"
"YAH! THIS IS GOING TO BE SO AWESOME!" I yelled. We ran to get our awesome friends, and rent a small boat.
Monday, December 12, 2011
The Jaw-Dropping Parody of Jaws Pt. 2
Mrs. Waters, this is for my sick amusement. This is also my second part of The Jaw-Dropping Parody of Jaws.
LAST TIME ON THE JAW-DROPPING PARODY OF JAWS..... Michael and Yanci disappeared while swimming in Lake Wellington. That's it!
LAST TIME ON THE JAW-DROPPING PARODY OF JAWS..... Michael and Yanci disappeared while swimming in Lake Wellington. That's it!
I was on a boat, and we were fishing for, you guessed it, fish. I was on the boat with Kelsey, Samm, and Britany.
"I got a bite!" Samm yelled. We gathered around him to see if he needed any help. "Whoa! This one's a big 'un!" He tried really hard to real the fish in, but he couldn't. All of a sudden, Samm was pulled overboard.
"OMG! SAMM!" Kelsey screeched.
We saw Samm thrash around in the water a bit, then he was pulled farther underwater. Eventually, there was a big bubble, and blood spread to the surface.
"Holy Cheese-on-a-stick! Samm's dead!" I screamed.
"SAMM IS NOT DEAD!" Kelsey yelled at me, then slapped me across the face.
"Oh, no you didn't." Britany said, and tackled Kelsey.
"WATCH OUT! YOU MIGHT PUSH HER-" Britany pushed Kelsey over the edge of the railing, and into the water. "Over the edge." I finished.
With nothing else to do, we watched Kelsey be pulled under the water, and another bubble of blood popped to the surface.
"At least their together now." Britany said. "Do you have anything nice to say about them?" She asked me.
"Nope. Samm was funny, though. I think Kelsey was funny, like, whoa, did she really ask that? And sometimes, whoa, that chick is seriously blond." I said.
"We should probably tell someone that they're dead." Britany said wisely.
"Kay. Let's go tell Mayor Tristan Patterson." I said.
BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER!
Friday, December 9, 2011
The Jaw-Dropping Parody of Jaws Pt. 1
Mrs. Waters, this is for my sick amusement. This is also my first part of The Jaw-Dropping Parody of Jaws. (Mrs. Waters, not everyone dies. There is a surprise ending, and everything turns out just fine.)
Also, did you know, if you watch Jaws (the first one) backwards, the story is about a shark that can't stop throwing up people, then eventually, the people open a beach.
OKAY, SO....Since Wellington isn't near the ocean, I fudged some facts. Now, there is a very deep, and very big lake located just outside Wellington's city limits. It's around the size of the lake at Altus. It is known for the big waves, sandy beaches, and a massive boat dock. A small, skinny white boy who goes by the name of Michael Moore, who didn't follow my blog, and therefore deserves to die a horrible death, was swimming in the lake at night. I have no idea why. Michael is just weird like that.
Michael was singing a song as he swam in Lake Wellington. The song went like this:
"When I walk into school,
Yah,
This is what I see,
Okay!
Everybody stops, and is starn' at me!
I got a fake gangsta swagger
and I ain't afraid to show it
Show it, show it... Ding!
I'm a white boy and I know it!"
All of a sudden, a giant, dark shape was visible beside Michael. Michael seemed to see it, and he stopped swimming. He turned his head to see what was there. When he turned around, the shape popped to the surface, and sliced through the water towards him.
"AHHHHHH!!!" Michael screamed. The shape disappeared just before it reached the boy, and Michael sighed in relief. Then Michael felt something clamp onto his foot, and he was dragged underwater before he could scream again.
That's how Michael Moore died. (Mean Girls Reference!)
The next morning, the beach was open, and hundreds of people were swimming in the water. A very pale girl that went by the name of Yanci Thomas was water skiing. She was having a really great time. All of a sudden, she felt something hit the bottom of her ski, and she fell into the water. She wondered what had gone wrong. She whipped her blond hair back and forth, and looked around for the boat.
"¡Prisa, usted barco estúpido! ¡Quiero esquiar mayor!" She yelled.
She felt something bump into her. Whatever it was, it was big. She started to scream for the boat to hurry up, but the people on the boat couldn't hear her. They kept coming towards her at a normal pace.
The boat was taking too long. She felt something bump into her again. She screamed for help, but nobody could hear her over the roar of the boat's engine.
She started to scream again, but it was cut short when she was pulled under.
And that's how Yanci Thomas died. (Another Mean Girls reference!)
Also, did you know, if you watch Jaws (the first one) backwards, the story is about a shark that can't stop throwing up people, then eventually, the people open a beach.
OKAY, SO....Since Wellington isn't near the ocean, I fudged some facts. Now, there is a very deep, and very big lake located just outside Wellington's city limits. It's around the size of the lake at Altus. It is known for the big waves, sandy beaches, and a massive boat dock. A small, skinny white boy who goes by the name of Michael Moore, who didn't follow my blog, and therefore deserves to die a horrible death, was swimming in the lake at night. I have no idea why. Michael is just weird like that.
Michael was singing a song as he swam in Lake Wellington. The song went like this:
"When I walk into school,
Yah,
This is what I see,
Okay!
Everybody stops, and is starn' at me!
I got a fake gangsta swagger
and I ain't afraid to show it
Show it, show it... Ding!
I'm a white boy and I know it!"
All of a sudden, a giant, dark shape was visible beside Michael. Michael seemed to see it, and he stopped swimming. He turned his head to see what was there. When he turned around, the shape popped to the surface, and sliced through the water towards him.
"AHHHHHH!!!" Michael screamed. The shape disappeared just before it reached the boy, and Michael sighed in relief. Then Michael felt something clamp onto his foot, and he was dragged underwater before he could scream again.
That's how Michael Moore died. (Mean Girls Reference!)
The next morning, the beach was open, and hundreds of people were swimming in the water. A very pale girl that went by the name of Yanci Thomas was water skiing. She was having a really great time. All of a sudden, she felt something hit the bottom of her ski, and she fell into the water. She wondered what had gone wrong. She whipped her blond hair back and forth, and looked around for the boat.
"¡Prisa, usted barco estúpido! ¡Quiero esquiar mayor!" She yelled.
She felt something bump into her. Whatever it was, it was big. She started to scream for the boat to hurry up, but the people on the boat couldn't hear her. They kept coming towards her at a normal pace.
The boat was taking too long. She felt something bump into her again. She screamed for help, but nobody could hear her over the roar of the boat's engine.
She started to scream again, but it was cut short when she was pulled under.
And that's how Yanci Thomas died. (Another Mean Girls reference!)
Thursday, December 8, 2011
Perplexing Parody of The Twilight Saga Pt 5
Mrs. Waters, this is for my sick amusement. This is also the last part of my parody of the Twilight Saga.
LAST TIME ON THE PERPLEXING PARODY OF THE TWILIGHT SAGA..... I'm getting sick of writing about what happened in the last part of this parody, so I'm not going to write it. If you want to know what's going on, just read the other parts yourself. Capish?
I finally turned around, and decided to watch the fight. They were really going at it. Jastan was totally Chris Brown, and he whipped his tail back and forth, reducing Chloe to dust. Mattie and Haley were really tearing at each others throats. Mattie bit Haley really hard on the neck, and Haley was totally turned to ashes. When Kacey saw that she was the last vampire still alive-undead-whatever, she started to flee. She ran past me so fast, she was just a blur.
I turned to see what she was doing. Kacey had grabbed a very skinny white boy, and was threatening to break his neck. She yelled, "Let me go, or Eric gets killed." She said. Eric started to cry in terror.
Iguana Man waddled beside me. "Let him go you evil demon thingy!" He yelled at her.
"NO! Not until I'm safely far away, somewhere like Forks."
"Where the crap is Forks?"
"It's a small foresty town that has little to no sunlight year round!"
Before Kacey could further explain this 'Forks', I whipped out my super awesome cross bow, (because this is my parody, and I wanted to kill a vampire with a crossbow) loaded a very sharp wooden stake into it (and got a splinter) aimed it, and fired it. The stake sailed through the air, and straight into Kacey's heart. She looked shocked, and then crumbled to dust.
I started to sing:
Du Du Du!
Another one bits the dust!
Du Du Du!
Another one bits the dust!
And another one gone,
And another one gone,
Another one bits the dust!
Iguana Man joined in: "Du Du Du!"
Then we started to sing:
"We... are the champions.....my friends....
Bum Bum Buuuuummm!
And we'll.....keep on FIGHT'N....Till the end!
Bum Bum Buuuuuuummmm!
'Cause we...are the champions.....
WE ARE THE CHAMPIONS!"
Then Eric yelled at us, "SHUT UP!" And ran away. (are you happy Eric?! You are finally in my parody.)
Then we all lived happily ever after. (And Samm was still quite dead, so PLEASE LET IT GO!)
(P.S. Follow my blog, or die in one of my parodies! I'm being completely serious.)
LAST TIME ON THE PERPLEXING PARODY OF THE TWILIGHT SAGA..... I'm getting sick of writing about what happened in the last part of this parody, so I'm not going to write it. If you want to know what's going on, just read the other parts yourself. Capish?
I finally turned around, and decided to watch the fight. They were really going at it. Jastan was totally Chris Brown, and he whipped his tail back and forth, reducing Chloe to dust. Mattie and Haley were really tearing at each others throats. Mattie bit Haley really hard on the neck, and Haley was totally turned to ashes. When Kacey saw that she was the last vampire still alive-undead-whatever, she started to flee. She ran past me so fast, she was just a blur.
I turned to see what she was doing. Kacey had grabbed a very skinny white boy, and was threatening to break his neck. She yelled, "Let me go, or Eric gets killed." She said. Eric started to cry in terror.
Iguana Man waddled beside me. "Let him go you evil demon thingy!" He yelled at her.
"NO! Not until I'm safely far away, somewhere like Forks."
"Where the crap is Forks?"
"It's a small foresty town that has little to no sunlight year round!"
Before Kacey could further explain this 'Forks', I whipped out my super awesome cross bow, (because this is my parody, and I wanted to kill a vampire with a crossbow) loaded a very sharp wooden stake into it (and got a splinter) aimed it, and fired it. The stake sailed through the air, and straight into Kacey's heart. She looked shocked, and then crumbled to dust.
I started to sing:
Du Du Du!
Another one bits the dust!
Du Du Du!
Another one bits the dust!
And another one gone,
And another one gone,
Another one bits the dust!
Iguana Man joined in: "Du Du Du!"
Then we started to sing:
"We... are the champions.....my friends....
Bum Bum Buuuuummm!
And we'll.....keep on FIGHT'N....Till the end!
Bum Bum Buuuuuuummmm!
'Cause we...are the champions.....
WE ARE THE CHAMPIONS!"
Then Eric yelled at us, "SHUT UP!" And ran away. (are you happy Eric?! You are finally in my parody.)
Then we all lived happily ever after. (And Samm was still quite dead, so PLEASE LET IT GO!)
(P.S. Follow my blog, or die in one of my parodies! I'm being completely serious.)
Perplexing Parody of The Twilight Saga Pt 4
Mrs. Waters, this is for my sick amusement. This is also part 4 of my parody of the Twilight Saga.
LAST TIME ON THE PERPLEXING PARODY OF THE TWILIGHT SAGA..... I'm going to make this really fast, because I really don't like summarizing what I've already written. So scroll down to my awesome archive, and read my other parts you persona discustingly perezosa de que no tengo gusto! That's right. I used Spanish to express my views of lazy people. OKAY SO...Jastan the Iguana Man and Friends started to fight the evil vampires. Jastan cut off Samm's head.
"EEEEEWWWWEEE!" I squealed. "That was disgusting. I can't watch!" I turned away from the fight.
"EVERYONE STOP!" Kelsey screamed. What was she doing here? "Whatever you do, don't kill Samm! I love him! We are totally meant to be together forever! And I figured out what he is! He's totally a unicorn!" She yelled.
"Um. Kelsey, Samm wasn't a unicorn. He was a vampire. And Jastan the Iguana just killed him." I told her.
"WHAT?! NOOOOO!!!! I was supposed to fall madly in love with him, then a totally hot bad vampire would try to kill me, and Samm would save me, then he would leave me for my own protection, then he would come back after I do some really stupid stupid, like jump off of a cliff, then we would get married, and I would get pregnant with his demon baby, then I would nearly die in childbirth, and he would have to cut-"
"WHOOOOOOOAAA! STOP! Sam es realmente muerto.Al hombre de la iguana lo mató. ¡Apenas exept él Kelsey!" I told her in Spanish. Kelsey started to cry. She left, wailing about her lost love. I yelled after her: "¡Su recepción! ¡No es ninguna gran cosa que acabo de salvarle de parto terrible! ¡SIEMPRE!"
The dogs and Iguana Man started at me. "What?" I asked.
Chloe shook her head. "So... what happens now?" Chloe asked.
"Well, I think we should go all Chris Brown vs. Rihanna on each other." Mattie said.
"Great! So, who's Chris, and who's Rihanna?" Kacey asked.
"Well, obviously, I'm Chris Brown." Jastan stated.
"Wait, why do you get to be Chris?" Haley asked.
"Because I'm Iguana Man."
"THAT DOESN'T MAKE ANY SENSE!" Haley snarled, then jumped Jastan.
This caused a chain reaction, and soon, everyone except me was biting and scratching at each other. The fight was so violent, I couldn't bring myself to watch. I turned away. Then I looked back. Then I turned away. Then I looked back. Then I turned halfway away, then back. I had to watch this. It was just too epic not to. No. I wouldn't watch this violence. I forced myself to look away. Then I started to turn...then I looked away again. Oh, the indecision was killing me!
(Comment on post if you think I should look or not! If I look, I give a detailed description of what the fight is like. If not, something shocking happens! Don't forget to comment!)
LAST TIME ON THE PERPLEXING PARODY OF THE TWILIGHT SAGA..... I'm going to make this really fast, because I really don't like summarizing what I've already written. So scroll down to my awesome archive, and read my other parts you persona discustingly perezosa de que no tengo gusto! That's right. I used Spanish to express my views of lazy people. OKAY SO...Jastan the Iguana Man and Friends started to fight the evil vampires. Jastan cut off Samm's head.
 |
| Girrrrrrr |
"EEEEEWWWWEEE!" I squealed. "That was disgusting. I can't watch!" I turned away from the fight.
"EVERYONE STOP!" Kelsey screamed. What was she doing here? "Whatever you do, don't kill Samm! I love him! We are totally meant to be together forever! And I figured out what he is! He's totally a unicorn!" She yelled.
"Um. Kelsey, Samm wasn't a unicorn. He was a vampire. And Jastan the Iguana just killed him." I told her.
"WHAT?! NOOOOO!!!! I was supposed to fall madly in love with him, then a totally hot bad vampire would try to kill me, and Samm would save me, then he would leave me for my own protection, then he would come back after I do some really stupid stupid, like jump off of a cliff, then we would get married, and I would get pregnant with his demon baby, then I would nearly die in childbirth, and he would have to cut-"
"WHOOOOOOOAAA! STOP! Sam es realmente muerto.Al hombre de la iguana lo mató. ¡Apenas exept él Kelsey!" I told her in Spanish. Kelsey started to cry. She left, wailing about her lost love. I yelled after her: "¡Su recepción! ¡No es ninguna gran cosa que acabo de salvarle de parto terrible! ¡SIEMPRE!"
The dogs and Iguana Man started at me. "What?" I asked.
Chloe shook her head. "So... what happens now?" Chloe asked.
"Well, I think we should go all Chris Brown vs. Rihanna on each other." Mattie said.
"Great! So, who's Chris, and who's Rihanna?" Kacey asked.
"Well, obviously, I'm Chris Brown." Jastan stated.
"Wait, why do you get to be Chris?" Haley asked.
"Because I'm Iguana Man."
"THAT DOESN'T MAKE ANY SENSE!" Haley snarled, then jumped Jastan.
This caused a chain reaction, and soon, everyone except me was biting and scratching at each other. The fight was so violent, I couldn't bring myself to watch. I turned away. Then I looked back. Then I turned away. Then I looked back. Then I turned halfway away, then back. I had to watch this. It was just too epic not to. No. I wouldn't watch this violence. I forced myself to look away. Then I started to turn...then I looked away again. Oh, the indecision was killing me!
(Comment on post if you think I should look or not! If I look, I give a detailed description of what the fight is like. If not, something shocking happens! Don't forget to comment!)
Wednesday, December 7, 2011
Perplexing Parody of The Twilight Saga Pt 3
Mrs. Waters, this is for my sick amusement. This is also part 3 of my parody of the Twilight Saga.
LAST TIME ON THE PERPLEXING PARODY OF THE TWILIGHT SAGA..... My jeep was totaled when Samm the vampire dude hit it to stop my lovely jeep from hitting Kelsey, the Bella of this parody. I woke up in the hospital, and found Dr. Richardson standing over me. He gave me money for my jeep, and I left the room, and found Samm arguing with Haley and Kacey, his foster sisters. I heard them talk about killing me, so I freaked, and went home. I googled 'how to kill a vampire' and found this website that told me to call a number. A guy named Jastan picked up the phone, and shouted that the iguana man was going to save the day, and kill the bad vampires.
The next day, I left my home in my sister Macy's old pick up, because my jeep was a heap of scrap medal. I was about to enter the school when I was jumped by someone.
I started to scream for help. "AHHH! HELP! SOMEONE IS JUMPING ME! THEY ARE GOING TO TAKE MY MONEY!"
"Shut up! I'm Jastan, the Iguana Man! I'm here to help!" Jastan yelled at me.
"Oh. Cool! So, where are your sidekicks?" I asked.
He pointed behind him at some teenaged people. "This is Mattie, Brittany, Sydney (Sydney Jones, not Dakota's female friend) and Michael. They are my awesome sidekicks."
"Why are they all girls?" I asked.
"HEY! I'm not a girl!" Michael yelled.
"SHUT UP MICHAEL! They are all girls because they are all female dogs."
"WHAT?!" I shouted.
"Watch this!" Jastan said. "OKAY EVERYBODY! On the count of three. One, Two, Three!"
As soon as Jastan said three, his sidekicks all turned into tiny chihuahuas. Brittany had turned into a cute little white chihuahua, lifted up her paw, and girrred at me. Mattie turned into a tan chihuahua, and barked, very high-pitched. Sydney turned into a little black chihuahua, because she's really Jonathan's daughter, and jumped up in the air. Michael turned into a chihuahua that was brown, because he's truely gangster. Michael growled at me.
I turned to Jastan. "THAT IS TOTALLY AWESOME!!!! THEY ARE SOOOOO CUTE!"
"You haven't seen nothn' yet. Watch this!" Jastan turned into a neon green iguana.
"FROZEN FISH STICKS! THAT IS.....THERE ISN'T EVEN A WAY TO DESCRIBE HOW AWESOME THAT IS!!!! AHHHHHHHHH!! I'M OVERWHELMED WITH THE AWESOMENESS OF IT!!" I had to shield my eyes from the pure legitness of Iguana Man.
Iguana Man spoke to me. (Because this is fiction, anything can happen) "I know. The first time you see the pure gangsterness that is Iguana Man and his sidekicks can be overwhelming. Sometimes, your eye sockets might bleed from the sheer epicness. So, where are the vampires? We'll deal with them."
"They should all be in Art Class. Go Iguana Man and Friends, and kill the evil demons!" I shouted.
And they were off. I followed after them. I started to sing their theme song. It went along with the rythem of the Batman theme song. It went like this:
"Dunununa Dunununa
Iguana Man!
Dunununa Dunununa
And His Friends!
Dunununa Dunununa
Are Awesome!"
"SHUT UP!" Britney barked.
They all stopped when we came to the front door.
"NOO!! Cursed door! We can't deal with the vampires with this blocking our way. We can't open it, because we have no thumbs! What will we do?" Jastan said.
Just then, Samm, Haley, Kacey, and and other vampire who must be Chloe walked out the door, and stopped in front of us.
"AMIGOS OF IGUANA MAN! ATTACK!!!!!" Jastan shouted his battle cry, and the chihuahuas and the awesome Iguana Man charged, and using his very sharp claws, cut off Samm's head in one swift swipe.
LAST TIME ON THE PERPLEXING PARODY OF THE TWILIGHT SAGA..... My jeep was totaled when Samm the vampire dude hit it to stop my lovely jeep from hitting Kelsey, the Bella of this parody. I woke up in the hospital, and found Dr. Richardson standing over me. He gave me money for my jeep, and I left the room, and found Samm arguing with Haley and Kacey, his foster sisters. I heard them talk about killing me, so I freaked, and went home. I googled 'how to kill a vampire' and found this website that told me to call a number. A guy named Jastan picked up the phone, and shouted that the iguana man was going to save the day, and kill the bad vampires.
 | |
| Jastan The Iguana Man |
The next day, I left my home in my sister Macy's old pick up, because my jeep was a heap of scrap medal. I was about to enter the school when I was jumped by someone.
I started to scream for help. "AHHH! HELP! SOMEONE IS JUMPING ME! THEY ARE GOING TO TAKE MY MONEY!"
"Shut up! I'm Jastan, the Iguana Man! I'm here to help!" Jastan yelled at me.
"Oh. Cool! So, where are your sidekicks?" I asked.
He pointed behind him at some teenaged people. "This is Mattie, Brittany, Sydney (Sydney Jones, not Dakota's female friend) and Michael. They are my awesome sidekicks."
"Why are they all girls?" I asked.
"HEY! I'm not a girl!" Michael yelled.
"SHUT UP MICHAEL! They are all girls because they are all female dogs."
"WHAT?!" I shouted.
"Watch this!" Jastan said. "OKAY EVERYBODY! On the count of three. One, Two, Three!"
As soon as Jastan said three, his sidekicks all turned into tiny chihuahuas. Brittany had turned into a cute little white chihuahua, lifted up her paw, and girrred at me. Mattie turned into a tan chihuahua, and barked, very high-pitched. Sydney turned into a little black chihuahua, because she's really Jonathan's daughter, and jumped up in the air. Michael turned into a chihuahua that was brown, because he's truely gangster. Michael growled at me.
I turned to Jastan. "THAT IS TOTALLY AWESOME!!!! THEY ARE SOOOOO CUTE!"
"You haven't seen nothn' yet. Watch this!" Jastan turned into a neon green iguana.
"FROZEN FISH STICKS! THAT IS.....THERE ISN'T EVEN A WAY TO DESCRIBE HOW AWESOME THAT IS!!!! AHHHHHHHHH!! I'M OVERWHELMED WITH THE AWESOMENESS OF IT!!" I had to shield my eyes from the pure legitness of Iguana Man.
Iguana Man spoke to me. (Because this is fiction, anything can happen) "I know. The first time you see the pure gangsterness that is Iguana Man and his sidekicks can be overwhelming. Sometimes, your eye sockets might bleed from the sheer epicness. So, where are the vampires? We'll deal with them."
"They should all be in Art Class. Go Iguana Man and Friends, and kill the evil demons!" I shouted.
And they were off. I followed after them. I started to sing their theme song. It went along with the rythem of the Batman theme song. It went like this:
"Dunununa Dunununa
Iguana Man!
Dunununa Dunununa
And His Friends!
Dunununa Dunununa
Are Awesome!"
"SHUT UP!" Britney barked.
They all stopped when we came to the front door.
"NOO!! Cursed door! We can't deal with the vampires with this blocking our way. We can't open it, because we have no thumbs! What will we do?" Jastan said.
Just then, Samm, Haley, Kacey, and and other vampire who must be Chloe walked out the door, and stopped in front of us.
"AMIGOS OF IGUANA MAN! ATTACK!!!!!" Jastan shouted his battle cry, and the chihuahuas and the awesome Iguana Man charged, and using his very sharp claws, cut off Samm's head in one swift swipe.
Perplexing Parody of The Twilight Saga Pt 2
Mrs. Waters, this is for my sick amusement. This is also part 2 of my parody of the Twilight Saga.
LAST TIME ON THE PERPLEXING PARODY OF THE TWILIGHT SAGA..... Alright. The town is Wellington, Texas, and a new, strange family has just moved there. The new family has four foster children, and all of them are freshmen. I met Samm, (the Edward of the story) when he was sitting in my desk, and he read my mind. I told Kelsey (the Bella of the story) that he was a vampire, but since she's blond, she didn't believe me. I lost control of my jeep at lunch, and would have killed Kelsey if Samm hadn't intervened. My jeep hit his hand, which left a dent, and flipped over them, and ended up rolling on the ground a bunch of times before coming to a stop.
My last coherent thought was, "Vampires suck." And I blacked out.
I came to in the hospital, with a very pale doctor's face above mine. "Oh good. You're not dead!" The doctor told me. I felt the side of my head, and found a giant bandage covering my wound.
"Who are you?" I asked.
"I'm new to this hospital, you've met my foster son, Samm already. My name is Dr. Richardson." He smiled at me, and I saw that he had fangs. He was a vampire too!
"OMG! You're a vampire!" I whispered, and backed away.
"SHHHHH!!!! Don't tell anyone! Please!" Dr. Richardson told me.
"I don't know..." He slipped me a hundred dollar bill. "Yay! money!" I yelled. Then I remembered my jeep. "(explicit word)! Your son just like, totaled my car! It's gonna take a whole lot more money to make that problem go away. This won't even pay for the paint job!"
"Alright, I'll give you more money later. You can go home now." Seriously? I just had a major car accident happen to me, and I was free to go? Awesome! I stood, felt absolutely fine (because this is fiction, anything can happen) and left the hospital room. I saw Samm having a heated discussion with some other really pale people, and creeped, ninja style, closer so I could hear what they were arguing about.
"You can't tell her about our secret!" A white girl with a pony tail said. "I don't like her."
"Kacey Bell. Why don't you like Kelsey?" Samm asked Kacey.
"Because she has way blonder hair than me."
"Don't worry. I'm not going to tell Kelsey anything." Samm replied.
"What about that other girl that you nearly killed?" Another white girl asked.
"I don't know Haley. Should we kill her? I don't like her that much anyway."
"NO! We can't do that, because then the story would be over and there wouldn't be anymore parts!" Haley said. What was this chick talkn' bout?
"Okay, what you just said didn't make any sense."
"I can see the future, remember? Cause I'm awesome like that. I see Cassidy writing an awesomely epic saga about us." Haley said.
"Okay.... you are crazy. But I won't kill her, if it will shut you up." Samm said.
Holy Calzones. These vampires might kill people! I have to stop them, I realized. But how would I do that? With a wooden stake? Pointy objects and me don't usually work out well. What about Holy Water? Well, I'm terrified of nuns, so that wouldn't work. I decided to research some stuff about killing vampires on the internet. I went home, got on to my computer, and googled 'How to Kill a Vampire'.
I clicked on this link that lead me to this website, and it read: "Have a vampire problem? Contact Jastan, the awesome iguana dude." What did that mean? Even though this dude sounded nuts, I was desprite, and called the number on the website.
"Hello?" A voice said on the other end of the phone.
"Yes, um..I have a vampire problem, and um.. I went to your website, and-"
"Where do you live?"
"Wellington."
"Sweet! I live there too. Help is on the way! Iguana man and his sidekicks to the rescue!" He yelled the last bit into my ear, then hung up.
Great. A crazy guy that goes by the name of iguana man knows where I live.
LAST TIME ON THE PERPLEXING PARODY OF THE TWILIGHT SAGA..... Alright. The town is Wellington, Texas, and a new, strange family has just moved there. The new family has four foster children, and all of them are freshmen. I met Samm, (the Edward of the story) when he was sitting in my desk, and he read my mind. I told Kelsey (the Bella of the story) that he was a vampire, but since she's blond, she didn't believe me. I lost control of my jeep at lunch, and would have killed Kelsey if Samm hadn't intervened. My jeep hit his hand, which left a dent, and flipped over them, and ended up rolling on the ground a bunch of times before coming to a stop.
My last coherent thought was, "Vampires suck." And I blacked out.
I came to in the hospital, with a very pale doctor's face above mine. "Oh good. You're not dead!" The doctor told me. I felt the side of my head, and found a giant bandage covering my wound.
"Who are you?" I asked.
"I'm new to this hospital, you've met my foster son, Samm already. My name is Dr. Richardson." He smiled at me, and I saw that he had fangs. He was a vampire too!
"OMG! You're a vampire!" I whispered, and backed away.
"SHHHHH!!!! Don't tell anyone! Please!" Dr. Richardson told me.
"I don't know..." He slipped me a hundred dollar bill. "Yay! money!" I yelled. Then I remembered my jeep. "(explicit word)! Your son just like, totaled my car! It's gonna take a whole lot more money to make that problem go away. This won't even pay for the paint job!"
"Alright, I'll give you more money later. You can go home now." Seriously? I just had a major car accident happen to me, and I was free to go? Awesome! I stood, felt absolutely fine (because this is fiction, anything can happen) and left the hospital room. I saw Samm having a heated discussion with some other really pale people, and creeped, ninja style, closer so I could hear what they were arguing about.
"You can't tell her about our secret!" A white girl with a pony tail said. "I don't like her."
"Kacey Bell. Why don't you like Kelsey?" Samm asked Kacey.
"Because she has way blonder hair than me."
"Don't worry. I'm not going to tell Kelsey anything." Samm replied.
"What about that other girl that you nearly killed?" Another white girl asked.
"I don't know Haley. Should we kill her? I don't like her that much anyway."
"NO! We can't do that, because then the story would be over and there wouldn't be anymore parts!" Haley said. What was this chick talkn' bout?
"Okay, what you just said didn't make any sense."
"I can see the future, remember? Cause I'm awesome like that. I see Cassidy writing an awesomely epic saga about us." Haley said.
"Okay.... you are crazy. But I won't kill her, if it will shut you up." Samm said.
Holy Calzones. These vampires might kill people! I have to stop them, I realized. But how would I do that? With a wooden stake? Pointy objects and me don't usually work out well. What about Holy Water? Well, I'm terrified of nuns, so that wouldn't work. I decided to research some stuff about killing vampires on the internet. I went home, got on to my computer, and googled 'How to Kill a Vampire'.
I clicked on this link that lead me to this website, and it read: "Have a vampire problem? Contact Jastan, the awesome iguana dude." What did that mean? Even though this dude sounded nuts, I was desprite, and called the number on the website.
"Hello?" A voice said on the other end of the phone.
"Yes, um..I have a vampire problem, and um.. I went to your website, and-"
"Where do you live?"
"Wellington."
"Sweet! I live there too. Help is on the way! Iguana man and his sidekicks to the rescue!" He yelled the last bit into my ear, then hung up.
Great. A crazy guy that goes by the name of iguana man knows where I live.
Tuesday, December 6, 2011
Perplexing Parody of The Twilight Saga Pt 1
Mrs. Waters, this is for my sick amusement. On Monday, December 5, Haley Neeley told me that I should write a parody to the Twilight Saga. I'm not obsessed with Twilight, unlike my mother. (I luv you mommy!) But I am team Jacob, because he has really awesome abs. :D I'm also not Bella. Kelsey plays her part in this, & Samm plays the part of Edward (Because he's apparently mad at me over choosing Chloe over him for a partner for a World Geography project, & I want to annoy him) but I changed some details so I could write this in first person.
Alright. The town is Wellington, Texas, and a new, strange family has just moved there. The new family has four foster children, and all of them are freshmen. The opening setting is Coach Bo's classroom, and I was having another heated discussion with my teacher about him being a hypocrite.
"But Coach! I already told you, I can't respect a hypocrite, so I can't be expected to respect or follow a hypocrite's rule, therefore, I can't follow your instructions." I stated.
"Miss Davis, if you don't respect me, right now, I will give you a zero every day for a week!"
"That's totally unfair!"
"Life is unfair! Get used to it!" He was yelling at me. That was totally not nice.
Just before I could respond in a smart-allacky way, the door opened, and a seriously pale dude with seriously wind-blown hair walked in. He passed by Kelsey Warren on his way to Coach Bo, and gagged. He looked like he was going to puke! Hopefully, right on Coach Bo. (Just kidding!) (not really.)
"And who are you? Coach Bo asked him.
The new, really white boy answered, "Reeves." He whipped his hair back and forth, Justin Beiber style. "Samm, Reeves."
"Oookaaay.... You can sit by Kelsey." Coach Bo told him.
Samm sat by Kelsey, and looked like he was trying hard not to throw up. Kelsey sniffed her arm pit, trying to find out what was the problem. As soon as the bell rang, Samm jumped up, and walked really fast out of the room.
"Hey! Weird kid! You can't leave until I say so!" Coach Bo yelled after him. "Alright, you all can go." We all left his class. I came into Coach Robert's class, and found Samm sitting in my chair.
"Hey. New dude. You're totally in my seat. Move." I told him.
"Bite me." he said. Oh no he didn't! I thought.
"Oh yes I did." He said. Whoa. What was up with that? Can this dude read minds?
"Yup. I totally can." OMG! What the crap?! Where did this kid come from?
"Coach Bo's class."
"How do you do that?"
"Do what?"
"That!"
"What do you mean, that?"
"You know!"
"Why would I ask you what you meant if I already knew?" Oh. This dude was asking for it.
"Stop with the mind games freak, and get out of my seat!"
Samm hissed at me. What the (explicit word)?! This guy had fangs!
"Tell me something I don't know." He read my mind again! Freaky... Is this guy a vampire? Like from that movie series?
"Whoa. You are totally a genius. Congrats."
Everyone started to file in behind me. I decided to sit on the opposite side of the room from the scary new kid.
Kelsey sat down beside me. "Hey Cass, why are you letting the new guy sit in your seat?" I saw Samm was staring at Kelsey like she was a Crunch Bar, or something.
I leaned in and whispered to her, "Kelsey, that dude is totally a vampire! He has fangs and everything!"
Kelsey laughed really loud. "Cass, just because the kid is really white, doesn't mean that he has to be a vampire. That would be silly."
"Will you please listen to me you stupid blond?! That dude wants to totally suck your neck!"
Coach Roberts heard my whisper. "Cassidy, don't talk like that! It's highly inappropriate. Now do my really long and boring work packet, and stop making fun of Kelsey. It's not her fault that she's really blond."
The rest of my morning was really dull, but how could it not be after some guy hissed at me? Finally, it was lunch time, and I was going to drive my jeep home. I climbed into my totally legit and awesome cherry-apple red jeep, and backed out of my parking space. I started to drive out of the parking lot, and suddenly, the tires lost their grip on the assfault, (ha. funny word.) and I was skidding out of control, straight towards Kelsey. Stupid icy roads.
I yelled out my window, "KELSEY! MOVE! I'M HEADING STRAIGHT TOWARDS YOU IN A DEADLY WEAPON ALSO KNOWN AS MY JEEP! THE ICE ON THE ROAD HAS MADE ME LOOSE CONTROL OF MY CAR! RUUUUUNNN WHITE GIRL!! RUUUUUUUUNNNNN!!!"
She just stood in front of her car like a deer stuck staring down headlights. My jeep swerved closer, and closer, and closer, then I saw Samm suddenly appear between my jeep and Kelsey, and stick his hand out. That was dumb. Now I was going to kill two high school students. Great.
The jeep slammed into Samm's hand, and there was a loud crunch, and a giant dent appeared in my side door. I felt my jeep stop, then flip over in the air above Kelsey and him. My head hit the steering wheel, the the window, which cracked and shattered.
Good thing I always wear my seat belt! I thought sarcastically. Then remembered that Samm might be able to read my mind, and thought to him, YOU (explicit word)! YOU DENTED MY JEEP!
Blood started to flow from my head wound, and the jeep hit the ground behind Kelsey's car, and continued to rolled a couple more times before finally coming to a stop.
My last coherent thought was, "Vampires suck." And I blacked out.
Alright. The town is Wellington, Texas, and a new, strange family has just moved there. The new family has four foster children, and all of them are freshmen. The opening setting is Coach Bo's classroom, and I was having another heated discussion with my teacher about him being a hypocrite.
"But Coach! I already told you, I can't respect a hypocrite, so I can't be expected to respect or follow a hypocrite's rule, therefore, I can't follow your instructions." I stated.
"Miss Davis, if you don't respect me, right now, I will give you a zero every day for a week!"
"That's totally unfair!"
"Life is unfair! Get used to it!" He was yelling at me. That was totally not nice.
Just before I could respond in a smart-allacky way, the door opened, and a seriously pale dude with seriously wind-blown hair walked in. He passed by Kelsey Warren on his way to Coach Bo, and gagged. He looked like he was going to puke! Hopefully, right on Coach Bo. (Just kidding!) (not really.)
"And who are you? Coach Bo asked him.
The new, really white boy answered, "Reeves." He whipped his hair back and forth, Justin Beiber style. "Samm, Reeves."
"Oookaaay.... You can sit by Kelsey." Coach Bo told him.
Samm sat by Kelsey, and looked like he was trying hard not to throw up. Kelsey sniffed her arm pit, trying to find out what was the problem. As soon as the bell rang, Samm jumped up, and walked really fast out of the room.
"Hey! Weird kid! You can't leave until I say so!" Coach Bo yelled after him. "Alright, you all can go." We all left his class. I came into Coach Robert's class, and found Samm sitting in my chair.
"Hey. New dude. You're totally in my seat. Move." I told him.
"Bite me." he said. Oh no he didn't! I thought.
"Oh yes I did." He said. Whoa. What was up with that? Can this dude read minds?
"Yup. I totally can." OMG! What the crap?! Where did this kid come from?
"Coach Bo's class."
"How do you do that?"
"Do what?"
"That!"
"What do you mean, that?"
"You know!"
"Why would I ask you what you meant if I already knew?" Oh. This dude was asking for it.
"Stop with the mind games freak, and get out of my seat!"
Samm hissed at me. What the (explicit word)?! This guy had fangs!
"Tell me something I don't know." He read my mind again! Freaky... Is this guy a vampire? Like from that movie series?
"Whoa. You are totally a genius. Congrats."
Everyone started to file in behind me. I decided to sit on the opposite side of the room from the scary new kid.
Kelsey sat down beside me. "Hey Cass, why are you letting the new guy sit in your seat?" I saw Samm was staring at Kelsey like she was a Crunch Bar, or something.
I leaned in and whispered to her, "Kelsey, that dude is totally a vampire! He has fangs and everything!"
Kelsey laughed really loud. "Cass, just because the kid is really white, doesn't mean that he has to be a vampire. That would be silly."
"Will you please listen to me you stupid blond?! That dude wants to totally suck your neck!"
Coach Roberts heard my whisper. "Cassidy, don't talk like that! It's highly inappropriate. Now do my really long and boring work packet, and stop making fun of Kelsey. It's not her fault that she's really blond."
The rest of my morning was really dull, but how could it not be after some guy hissed at me? Finally, it was lunch time, and I was going to drive my jeep home. I climbed into my totally legit and awesome cherry-apple red jeep, and backed out of my parking space. I started to drive out of the parking lot, and suddenly, the tires lost their grip on the assfault, (ha. funny word.) and I was skidding out of control, straight towards Kelsey. Stupid icy roads.
I yelled out my window, "KELSEY! MOVE! I'M HEADING STRAIGHT TOWARDS YOU IN A DEADLY WEAPON ALSO KNOWN AS MY JEEP! THE ICE ON THE ROAD HAS MADE ME LOOSE CONTROL OF MY CAR! RUUUUUNNN WHITE GIRL!! RUUUUUUUUNNNNN!!!"
She just stood in front of her car like a deer stuck staring down headlights. My jeep swerved closer, and closer, and closer, then I saw Samm suddenly appear between my jeep and Kelsey, and stick his hand out. That was dumb. Now I was going to kill two high school students. Great.
The jeep slammed into Samm's hand, and there was a loud crunch, and a giant dent appeared in my side door. I felt my jeep stop, then flip over in the air above Kelsey and him. My head hit the steering wheel, the the window, which cracked and shattered.
Good thing I always wear my seat belt! I thought sarcastically. Then remembered that Samm might be able to read my mind, and thought to him, YOU (explicit word)! YOU DENTED MY JEEP!
Blood started to flow from my head wound, and the jeep hit the ground behind Kelsey's car, and continued to rolled a couple more times before finally coming to a stop.
My last coherent thought was, "Vampires suck." And I blacked out.
Monday, December 5, 2011
Ouch.
The most excruciating pain I have ever had the displeasure of feeling was when I was still in elementary school. It was after a Girl Scouts meeting, when my mother was the most legit troop leader ever, and I was dancing around on the stage, pretending to be a ballerina. There wasn't anyone in the cafeteria but my mother and her friend. I was very aggravated that my mother wasn't paying attention to me, so I started to bawl. My mom still didn't look at me, she was deep in a conversation with her friend. I decided I would take a flying leap off of the stage, and jump on my mom's back to get her attention.
Now I know that this sounds foolish, but to the younger me, this sounded pretty smart. I jumped off the stage, and I would have ended up on my mom's back, but she moved, and my head slammed into the edge of the lunch table. I started to wail, and at last my mom noticed me. The pain felt horrible. It was like a fire had broken out inside my head, and little devils were pounding drums in my brain, Like the picture above shows. There wasn't any blood, or even a bump, so my mom thought I was just being a baby. My mom told me to stop crying, and I did. I got really sleepy, my head got kind of foggy, and my eyes closed. My mom saw me fall asleep, and she freaked out.
I don't remember what happened after that, but apparently I didn't die from my head wound, because I'm still alive today. On the bright side, I got the Girl Scout badge of courage. JK! :)
Thursday, December 1, 2011
Best Invention Ever: The Snuggie!
Have you ever been cold, but your blanket kept falling of of you? Ever get tired of having to keep pulling it up, to keep you covered? Well, I don't have that problem anymore, thanks the my handy-dandy Snuggie!I believe the Snuggie is one of the best inventions of this century. Why? Because it's a blanket, and a jacket, and highly amusing piece of clothing, all at once! I can now keep toasty warm, anywhere I go, with my lovely Snuggie! They come in all kinds of interesting shades and patterns, and are one-size fits all!
Buy One Today, and experience the awesomeness of the Snuggie!
Saturday, November 26, 2011
A Poem About Hot Guys...This is For Dakota Warren!
Mrs. Waters, this is another post for my sick amusement! And I only posted this because Dakota Warren wanted to read it. And I kind of owe him, since I hid behind him during the premiere of "The Ouija Experiment". I laughed when he screamed. :) You better enjoy this Dakota!!
The Perfect Manly Man: Poem By Cassidy Davis
O superbly ripped abs of men
If I see them, I will rate you a ten.
O giant muscles in a guy’s arm,
I’ll bet they really inflict some harm.
O totally attractive sweat from working out,
When you walk towards me, I will never pout.
O really long legs, so fast and strong,
Stick with me, and I’ll do you no wrong!
O irresistibly attractive face,
In Mr. Universe, you would win first place.
O darlingly bright, sweet, wide smile,
Come to my house, I’ll ask you to stay a while.
O intelligent, radiant eye sockets,
I would bet you have really deep pockets.
O really attractive over-all body,
To my friends, I would call you a hotty.
Technically, that last one didn’t rhythm,
And now I’m under pressure to finish this line.
Really, I’ve run out of parts to write about, save one.
But, I’d rather not write about that, so I’ll say, I’m done!
The Perfect Manly Man: Poem By Cassidy Davis
O superbly ripped abs of men
If I see them, I will rate you a ten.
O giant muscles in a guy’s arm,
I’ll bet they really inflict some harm.
O totally attractive sweat from working out,
When you walk towards me, I will never pout.
O really long legs, so fast and strong,
Stick with me, and I’ll do you no wrong!
O irresistibly attractive face,
In Mr. Universe, you would win first place.
O darlingly bright, sweet, wide smile,
Come to my house, I’ll ask you to stay a while.
O intelligent, radiant eye sockets,
I would bet you have really deep pockets.
O really attractive over-all body,
To my friends, I would call you a hotty.
Technically, that last one didn’t rhythm,
And now I’m under pressure to finish this line.
Really, I’ve run out of parts to write about, save one.
But, I’d rather not write about that, so I’ll say, I’m done!
Friday, November 18, 2011
I'm On A Boat! With Pirates!!
My first order of piracy business would be to steal a ship, and name it the Grey Pearl. I would make my crew consist of really tough, angry, but hot looking guys with six-packs. My name would be CAPTAIN Cassidy Coolio. (Otherwise known as Triple C)
Maybe I would sail to a secret island located in the middle of nowhere, and find a mass amount of cursed treasure. I would then rip off some really dumb pirates by selling them the cursed gold for tons of money. Of course, the cursed treasure would make the pirates the living dead, and they would stalk me across the seven seas, but eventually I would win, and make off with my cash.
Finally I would embark on an epic quest to overthrow the captain of the Flying Dutchmen, and kill the kraken single-handly. I would then venture to Davey Jones' locker to rescue my best friend ever Jake Sparry, and sail away into the sunset. Jake would be kind of insane, since he would keep yelling that his name was Captain Jack Sparrow. What a nut.
My name would be feared across the entire Caribbean, and in the far future, film makers in Hollywood will make a hit series of movies based on my epic adventures as the scourge of the sea.
Wednesday, November 16, 2011
An Epic Origional Poem About Haters By ME!
Mrs. Waters, this is only for my SICK AMUSEMENT!
I heard about that movie Cyber Bully so I got to thinking, what if people don't like me, and therefore comment bad things on my blog? Then this golden idea popped into my head: Why don't you write a poem about what would happen to the haters that don't like the blog, or comment bad things on your posts? So that's what I did.
This is for all of the haters out there that don't like my blog!
O haters, dos thou not like my blog?
If you meet me in public, I will call you a female dog.
If you think my literature old and dull,
You can just beat the wall with your skull.
You find my rhythm boring and flat?
Say it to my face and I’ll beat you with a bat.
If you think my points and punctuations are atrocious,
You will find that my fighting skills are quite ferocious.
If you plan on sneaking up on me, hater-
In my pocket, I carry mace, and a shiny taser.
If you still plan on leaving a nasty comment after all this,
Getting away with your murder, will I reminisce.
And if you still think that this is all a sham,
Frankly my dear, I DON'T GIVE A _!!
THIS WAS A WARNING.....SO THINK CAREFULLY BEFORE YOU POST A NAUGHTY COMMENT ON MY BLOG!
I heard about that movie Cyber Bully so I got to thinking, what if people don't like me, and therefore comment bad things on my blog? Then this golden idea popped into my head: Why don't you write a poem about what would happen to the haters that don't like the blog, or comment bad things on your posts? So that's what I did.
This is for all of the haters out there that don't like my blog!
O haters, dos thou not like my blog?
If you meet me in public, I will call you a female dog.
If you think my literature old and dull,
You can just beat the wall with your skull.
You find my rhythm boring and flat?
Say it to my face and I’ll beat you with a bat.
If you think my points and punctuations are atrocious,
You will find that my fighting skills are quite ferocious.
If you plan on sneaking up on me, hater-
In my pocket, I carry mace, and a shiny taser.
If you still plan on leaving a nasty comment after all this,
Getting away with your murder, will I reminisce.
And if you still think that this is all a sham,
Frankly my dear, I DON'T GIVE A _!!
THIS WAS A WARNING.....SO THINK CAREFULLY BEFORE YOU POST A NAUGHTY COMMENT ON MY BLOG!
Friday, November 11, 2011
Another Adventure of Awesome Mind Bender! Featuring Jordan!
THIS BLOG POST IS DEDICATED TO JORDAN!!!
LAST TIME WITH AWESOME MIND BENDER Winter Woman (who is actually Carly) was kicked out of my awesome used-to-be secret lair, which is located in Metropolopolus, by Super Juan (who is really Logan), who can do cartwheels of super awesomeness. Juan and I had an epic battle, which ended with SJ towering over me. Darn.
Super Juan then did what I didn't expect him to do.
He did a happy dance, which was the wobble. "Yay! I beat a super villain! I'm Super Juan! I can do a cartwheel!" Super Juan said, and everyone knows that this is his famous catch phrase. While he was distracted doing his happy dance, I crawled toward the door, and flew away to safety.
I found my best friend, Jordan, at his new lair in Clarendon, which he recently moved to, to the great sadness of Wellington.
"Jordan, other wise known as Cripple, my awesomest, best friend in the whole world, can you help me out? My lair has been compromised by Super Juan and Winter Woman. If you could help me out just a little, I could pay you back, like, super quick! PLEEEEAAASE???!!!
He happily obliged, since I'm his best friend EVER! Using his super powers, which is bulletproofness, he stole lots of money from a bank, and gave half of the money to me.
I promised him that I would pay him back, but he said: "That that's booty! Since you're my super awesome best friend, you don't have to pay me back, think of this like a early Birthday present!"
I said something like, "AWWE! Thanks Jordan! You're the best Cripple ever!"(tecnically he's not a cripple anymore, his leg or whatever is all healed up, but I still call him that sometimes
With this new money, I found my new, totally awesome lair in Goth City, right in the ghetto, which is right next to Jonathan's hide out, since he raped Kelton for the 4th time in a week. My new place was located on the top floor of a huge, abandoned warehouse, which had lots of great views and property value.
I then made my name in the city by kidnapping the mayor and getting a ransom of $5,555,000. With that money, I gave to Jordan to buy the new video game he wanted. I then built a pool and filled it with cash, where I spent the rest of the afternoon, rolling around in stolen money. Again.
Wednesday, November 9, 2011
JORDAN!!! DON"T GOOO!!!!!
When Jordan messed up his leg practicing football, I called him cripple and repeatedly kicked his cast-thingy. When I did this enough times, Jordan wouldn't allow me to talk to him, and made a "Uaahhh!!" noise whenever I said anything to anyone and he was in the same room. I tried kicking this habit, but never could until he got the cast off. Until then, I called him a variety of names, such as "El Cripador","The Crip Mister", and the ever popular, "Jordan The Cripple". I will miss these times.
When Jordan sat ALLLL the way across the room from me during Spanish class, I would shout things like "¿su pie todavÃa daña Jordan?" Which means "Does your foot still hurt Jordan?". On papers where you had to write a sentence in Spanish, I would write, "Jordan es mi amigo." Which means "Jordan is my friend." Now that he's gone, I can only shout exaderated annoying things in Spanish to Jonathan.
The main thing is, Jordan can never be truely replaced. Nobody will ever be the TRUE CRIPPLE, since Jordan was the first person I ever called Cripple. Others can be my amigo in Spanish, but Jordan will always be my TRUE AMIGO! Even if he said he hates my guts(like he does now), and the sound of my voice(which he still finds extremely annoying), and my very presence made him sick, and he actually took the time to figure out how to block me from his blog. Nothing he can do will change the fact that he will always be Cripple to me.
JORDAN!!! DON"T GOOOOOOO!!!! WE'LL MISS YOU TOO MUCH HERE @ WELLINGTON!!!! NOOOOOOOO!!! CRIPPLE!! STAY HERE!!!!! NOOOOOOOO!!!
Monday, November 7, 2011
I'm On A Boat!!!
Pres. Obama then said, "I hear by take full credit for this happening, like I did with Benladen's death, and because of this, you should elect me for president. Again."
Dr. Conrad Murray exclaimed, "I didn't kill Micheal Jackson!" I didn't know how this had anything to do with whales, but whatever.
When the sight was over, we paddled back to shore, and reporters where already waiting on us. They started asking us all of these questions, and I answered them the best I could.
"We just felt like fishing, me and my friends, since we hadn't had the chance in quite some time, due to their personal problems, that's why we went out so far...to get away from all the fans and such. 'What big whales! Dang, that was close!' was on the lines of what was going through my mind when the whales first appeared." I took a breath and collected my thoughts. "I don't think it would have been logical for me to think that I could have been swallowed, since whales aren't stupid, and only eat small creatures, but I was pretty darn scared. After all, I can't swim, so if I ended up in the water, I probably would have drowned, if not crushed by the whales."
After this encounter, Obama and Dr. Conrad Murray joined me in a very nice dinner to celebrate our friendship and the bright future for America that lay ahead of us.
Friday, November 4, 2011
The Adventures of Awesome Mind Bender: Continued Continued
This is really the third time I have blogged about my supervillain self, and I still don't know if I should continue to write about this, since I have so much free time. But oh well, I'll give it a shot.
(Mrs. Waters, this isn't for English, this is for my own sick amusement.)
LAST TIME, AT MY EVIL LAIR..... Winter Woman (who is really Carly) kicked down my door, and totally tried to take my super-awesome self to jail, but failed, and I totally busted a cap in her fat cape, after she totally wrecked my crib. This totally bad A. fight sceen ended with me winning the fight, and Winter Woman begging for her pitiful life.
And that's when I killed Winter Woman. JK. (I can't kill Carly's charactor in this story, she'll kill me in real life) I was just about to crush Winter Woman's puny form with a bolder, but then Super Juan, (really Logan) cart-wheeled into my lair.
"Are you for-rizzle? Super Juan, if yo track mud up in my grill with yo fansy-smansy cartwheels, yo gonna get a cap busted in yo fat face!" I screamed at Super Juan, in a gangster accent of course. (Logan, if you're reading this, I really do love your cartwheeling powers!)
"I dare you to bust a cap in my face! You so white, you couldn't tell a Cript from a Blood!" Super Juan shouted, as his cartwheel indeed tracked mud into my grill. He then cartwheeled right into me, and knocked me off of Winter Woman, right before her demise.
Winter Woman, getting to her feet, then said, "Thanks for saving me Super Juan! You be so gangster! Let's take Awesome Mind Bender down together!"
And Super Juan replied, "Sorry, I don't work with super-white people who try to talk gangster but fail epicly. I'll deal with this evil doer all by my gangster self, thank you."
Winter Woman burst into tears, saying that Super Juan was her hero, and ran out of my not-so-secret-anymore lair, while I scoffed at her, and called her a baby.
Super Juan and I faced eachother and commenced our epic battle. SJ started to do a cartwheel, but I used my awesome mind powers to make the ruined polar bear rug fly out from under him, making him trip and fall on his face. As I approched him, he got to his feet and did a quick cartwheel, and kicked me in my face. I fell backwards, and found myself on the floor.
Super Juan toward over me, and I had the thought, "Wow, this is what I did to Winter Woman, like, two seconds ago. Dang."
Super Juan then did what I didn't expect him to do.
TO BE CONTINUED.....Possibly....
(Mrs. Waters, this isn't for English, this is for my own sick amusement.)
LAST TIME, AT MY EVIL LAIR..... Winter Woman (who is really Carly) kicked down my door, and totally tried to take my super-awesome self to jail, but failed, and I totally busted a cap in her fat cape, after she totally wrecked my crib. This totally bad A. fight sceen ended with me winning the fight, and Winter Woman begging for her pitiful life.
And that's when I killed Winter Woman. JK. (I can't kill Carly's charactor in this story, she'll kill me in real life) I was just about to crush Winter Woman's puny form with a bolder, but then Super Juan, (really Logan) cart-wheeled into my lair.
"Are you for-rizzle? Super Juan, if yo track mud up in my grill with yo fansy-smansy cartwheels, yo gonna get a cap busted in yo fat face!" I screamed at Super Juan, in a gangster accent of course. (Logan, if you're reading this, I really do love your cartwheeling powers!)
"I dare you to bust a cap in my face! You so white, you couldn't tell a Cript from a Blood!" Super Juan shouted, as his cartwheel indeed tracked mud into my grill. He then cartwheeled right into me, and knocked me off of Winter Woman, right before her demise.
Winter Woman, getting to her feet, then said, "Thanks for saving me Super Juan! You be so gangster! Let's take Awesome Mind Bender down together!"
And Super Juan replied, "Sorry, I don't work with super-white people who try to talk gangster but fail epicly. I'll deal with this evil doer all by my gangster self, thank you."
Winter Woman burst into tears, saying that Super Juan was her hero, and ran out of my not-so-secret-anymore lair, while I scoffed at her, and called her a baby.
Super Juan and I faced eachother and commenced our epic battle. SJ started to do a cartwheel, but I used my awesome mind powers to make the ruined polar bear rug fly out from under him, making him trip and fall on his face. As I approched him, he got to his feet and did a quick cartwheel, and kicked me in my face. I fell backwards, and found myself on the floor.
Super Juan toward over me, and I had the thought, "Wow, this is what I did to Winter Woman, like, two seconds ago. Dang."
Super Juan then did what I didn't expect him to do.
TO BE CONTINUED.....Possibly....
Thursday, November 3, 2011
The Adventures of Awesome Mind Bender: Continued
(Mrs. Waters, this isn't really my superhero blog, this is just me being dumb, the real post is under this)
The last you heard of Awesome Mind Bender, who is really me, I was in Metralapalapalus, where my evil lair is located, and I was rolling around in stolen cash. If you haven't read that yet, go under this post and read that first. That's when Winter Woman, who is really Carly, my arch nemesis, (in real life, she's really pretty cool, but in this she totally isn't) kicked down my door and entered inside my crib with a burst of cold air and snow!
Winter Woman exclaimed, "Awesome Mind Bender! Your evil reign of terror is over! I'm taking you to the brig!"
I yelled in a gangster way, "Nu uh!!! What you gonna do 'bout that hu foo? You gonna make it snow up in ma crib? That what yo gonna do? Man, Imma bust a cap in yo fat cape! Yo want some of this?! Take it!" Then I threw a big rock at her face (With my awesome mind powers).
Winter Woman then froze the rock mid-air, right before it hit her in the nose. It dropped to the ground with a big thud. She then, indeed, made it snow in my crib. Then it turned into a full-out blizzard. My cape was whipping behind me, and I could feel my face start to freeze. I then used my awesome mind powers to make Winter Woman see a giant spider on her face. She screamed bloody murder, and dropped to the floor, still screaming. The storm slowly stopped, and I stood there defrosting.
I started to strut towards her. "Ah man, why'd you do that? Now my sofa's all soaked and cold. I'll have to steal another one, and that's the third time this week! Do you know how hard it is to find a couch that fits with this color scheme? Tell me, did you have to freeze the rock right on my 100% pure polar bear rug? THAT'S NEVER COMMING OUT!!!!" I then kicked her in the side. (JK Carly, I'd never do that)
Winter Woman rolled over, face up. "No matter what you say or do to me villain, I'll never give up trying to arrest you and bring justice to Metralapalus!"
I replied, "Honey, there's another "lapa" in there somewhere. You must have forgotten it, since I gave you a concussion and all." I kicked her again, and placed my boot on her chest, and pressed down. Hard.
She then crocked out, "Even if you kill me, evil, totally cool, Awesome Mind Bender, other heroes will take my place. I'm warning you, they will be way better than me, a second-rate, totally un-cool hero. Think about this...really carefully...." She then proceeded to beg for her worthless life.
I then did what I wanted to do ever since she kicked down my hand carved, one-of-a-kind door.
TO BE CONTINUED....MAYBE.
The last you heard of Awesome Mind Bender, who is really me, I was in Metralapalapalus, where my evil lair is located, and I was rolling around in stolen cash. If you haven't read that yet, go under this post and read that first. That's when Winter Woman, who is really Carly, my arch nemesis, (in real life, she's really pretty cool, but in this she totally isn't) kicked down my door and entered inside my crib with a burst of cold air and snow!
Winter Woman exclaimed, "Awesome Mind Bender! Your evil reign of terror is over! I'm taking you to the brig!"
I yelled in a gangster way, "Nu uh!!! What you gonna do 'bout that hu foo? You gonna make it snow up in ma crib? That what yo gonna do? Man, Imma bust a cap in yo fat cape! Yo want some of this?! Take it!" Then I threw a big rock at her face (With my awesome mind powers).
Winter Woman then froze the rock mid-air, right before it hit her in the nose. It dropped to the ground with a big thud. She then, indeed, made it snow in my crib. Then it turned into a full-out blizzard. My cape was whipping behind me, and I could feel my face start to freeze. I then used my awesome mind powers to make Winter Woman see a giant spider on her face. She screamed bloody murder, and dropped to the floor, still screaming. The storm slowly stopped, and I stood there defrosting.
I started to strut towards her. "Ah man, why'd you do that? Now my sofa's all soaked and cold. I'll have to steal another one, and that's the third time this week! Do you know how hard it is to find a couch that fits with this color scheme? Tell me, did you have to freeze the rock right on my 100% pure polar bear rug? THAT'S NEVER COMMING OUT!!!!" I then kicked her in the side. (JK Carly, I'd never do that)
Winter Woman rolled over, face up. "No matter what you say or do to me villain, I'll never give up trying to arrest you and bring justice to Metralapalus!"
I replied, "Honey, there's another "lapa" in there somewhere. You must have forgotten it, since I gave you a concussion and all." I kicked her again, and placed my boot on her chest, and pressed down. Hard.
She then crocked out, "Even if you kill me, evil, totally cool, Awesome Mind Bender, other heroes will take my place. I'm warning you, they will be way better than me, a second-rate, totally un-cool hero. Think about this...really carefully...." She then proceeded to beg for her worthless life.
I then did what I wanted to do ever since she kicked down my hand carved, one-of-a-kind door.
TO BE CONTINUED....MAYBE.
Monday, October 31, 2011
The Super Bad, Awesome Mind Bender!!!
So, if my friend (Jordan) was imprisoned for a crime they didn't commit, (Which was murder) I would used my mind control powers to make the guards attack each other with guns, and then I would simply walk in and bend the metal (with my mind) to it's breaking point, and then take my friend to a safe house, where he would be supplied with a new identity, and lots of money in cash.
Next, the cops would scream my evil super villain name (Which would be the Awesome Mind Bender) at the top of their lungs! Finally, just for fun, I would rob a bank, and steal lots of cash, and fly (with my awesome mind powers) back to my lair, and roll around in the stolen money for hours. BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!
Thursday, October 27, 2011
Scary Presentation Over Scary Car Situations
Yesterday's presentation over drinking and driving, combined with graphic videos about distracted driving, really scared me. Truth be told, I didn't even watch most of the videos, I knew that they would give me horrible nightmares, but the parts I saw between my fingers nearly made me scream. I don't like it when children die, let alone right in front of me, even if it "isn't real", children do die in accidents every day, and I hate it. Watching things like that really feels like a slap in the face for me.
Also, drinking and driving scares the crap out of me, because even if you make a point of not drinking, and promise never to do it, you can't control what the person next to you will do. You can still be killed by a drunk driver, no matter what you put in your body.
Distracted driving can cause the same effect, by just one driver texting on his or her phone, can cause a three-car pile-up on a busy highway, killing loads of people, not to mention the families that will grieve for each of the dead.
All this is so sad, I might just not drive my Jeep for a while. Ha! Fooled you! Nothing will keep me from my Jeep! Nothing!
Also, drinking and driving scares the crap out of me, because even if you make a point of not drinking, and promise never to do it, you can't control what the person next to you will do. You can still be killed by a drunk driver, no matter what you put in your body.
Distracted driving can cause the same effect, by just one driver texting on his or her phone, can cause a three-car pile-up on a busy highway, killing loads of people, not to mention the families that will grieve for each of the dead.
All this is so sad, I might just not drive my Jeep for a while. Ha! Fooled you! Nothing will keep me from my Jeep! Nothing!
Monday, October 24, 2011
Lohan's Crime, But Hardly Any Time
With all the publicity on Lindsey Lohan's run-inns with the law, I have realized something. If your famous, you get a get-out-of-trouble-free card, or something like that, when you do something less than legal. If someone else who wasn't famous was in Lindsey's situation, they would be thrown in jail for theft for up to five years, not two weeks. If you don't show up to community service until you are over thirty minutes late, you don't send cupcakes. You beg not to be thrown in jail for violating your parole. If say, I did the things Lindsey did, I would be sent to reform school, and wouldn't see the light of day until I was twenty-one, or worse. Remember, she was also arrested for drunk driving multiple times, and is known for raging house parties. She even had a blow-out block party while under house arrest! As a closing, if Lohan wasn't so famous, two things would have happened: The story wouldn't be on the news, and she wouldn't have gotten special treatment from the court, and be serving the time in jail that she earned.
Monday, October 17, 2011
Happy Halloween!
One of my favorite Halloween memories is when I took my little cousins Natalie, Gabbie, and Jo Jo trick-or-treating. I remember Jo Jo's adorable Spider-man outfit, and Gabbie and Natalie looked cute in their blue and pink princess costumes. They all had their pumpkin trick-or-treat baskets, and they where filling up fast. I took them to my grandmother's house last, because I knew that she had an extra special treat waiting for us. When I took them up the steps, my grandmother was already at the door with the kid's favorite treat of all- caramel apples! This sadly turned out to be the last Halloween my grandmother spent with us, which makes this memory especially special to me.
My favorite ghost story is actually what happened in my house, and was witnessed by me and my older sister Macy, so if you don't believe me, you can ask Macy about the parts she saw.
Macy and I were home alone and I was sitting in a recliner watching T.V. Macy was walking by the entrance to the room when she suddenly stopped and screamed. I looked at her, and paciently waited for her to stop. Macy then screamed at me that there was a little blond girl standing across the room from me, and watching us. She darted to the place in which she saw the girl, but of course, the girl wasn't there anymore. I told Macy that I didn't see anything, and that she was just trying to scare me. She repeatedly told me that she wasn't lying, and that she really saw a little girl. I dismissed this, and continued to watch my show.
By is time, Macy left the room, and I was all alone. Out of the corner of my eye, I thought I saw something move, so I turned to look. In the dark corner right by me, there was a girl that looked about eight years old staring directly at me, and I saw that she had big, dark spots where her eyes should be, and she was wearing a night gown, like she was getting ready for bed. When I realized that I wasn't imagining it, I screamed for my sister. When I turned to look for Macy, I lost sight of the ghost girl, and with my knowledge of scary movies, I knew when I turned back to face the girl, she wouldn't be there anymore.
I really think that I saw the ghost girl, and so does Macy. Since that night, strange things have happened in my house, such as new light bulbs exploding as you walk into the room, a room gets unnaturally cold but the rest of the house is normal, a child's hand prints on things that can't be reached by children, lights turning on by themselves, and shadowy figures moving across the room though everyone there is still. Now that I know my house isn't exactly normal, I just need to find out why.
My three all- time favorite spooky jokes are the following:
Q: What kind of road does a ghost like best?
A: A dead end!
Q:What is a witch's favorite class?
A: Spelling!
Q:How much does a dead person weigh?
A: A skeleton!
My favorite ghost story is actually what happened in my house, and was witnessed by me and my older sister Macy, so if you don't believe me, you can ask Macy about the parts she saw.
Macy and I were home alone and I was sitting in a recliner watching T.V. Macy was walking by the entrance to the room when she suddenly stopped and screamed. I looked at her, and paciently waited for her to stop. Macy then screamed at me that there was a little blond girl standing across the room from me, and watching us. She darted to the place in which she saw the girl, but of course, the girl wasn't there anymore. I told Macy that I didn't see anything, and that she was just trying to scare me. She repeatedly told me that she wasn't lying, and that she really saw a little girl. I dismissed this, and continued to watch my show.
By is time, Macy left the room, and I was all alone. Out of the corner of my eye, I thought I saw something move, so I turned to look. In the dark corner right by me, there was a girl that looked about eight years old staring directly at me, and I saw that she had big, dark spots where her eyes should be, and she was wearing a night gown, like she was getting ready for bed. When I realized that I wasn't imagining it, I screamed for my sister. When I turned to look for Macy, I lost sight of the ghost girl, and with my knowledge of scary movies, I knew when I turned back to face the girl, she wouldn't be there anymore.
I really think that I saw the ghost girl, and so does Macy. Since that night, strange things have happened in my house, such as new light bulbs exploding as you walk into the room, a room gets unnaturally cold but the rest of the house is normal, a child's hand prints on things that can't be reached by children, lights turning on by themselves, and shadowy figures moving across the room though everyone there is still. Now that I know my house isn't exactly normal, I just need to find out why.
My three all- time favorite spooky jokes are the following:
Q: What kind of road does a ghost like best?
A: A dead end!
Q:What is a witch's favorite class?
A: Spelling!
Q:How much does a dead person weigh?
A: A skeleton!
Tuesday, October 11, 2011
My Legacy..After I Die. :(
Monday, October 3, 2011
The Disgusting Soup From The Can
One day, I was home alone and it was dinner time. It was arctic outside, so I thought that some vegetable soup sounded heavenly. First mistake. Next, I observed that we were out of vegetables, so I then proceeded to the cabinet, where I then selected a can of soup. The instructions said to microwave the soup for five minutes on high, but since I like my soup very hot, I set it for six minutes. Second mistake. After my short continuation of standing there, the microwave dinged. I poured the hot, steamy contents out into a bowl, added crackers, and proceeded to enjoy my meal. After about one sip, I realized that something was off, but I continued to eat. Sadly, I just thought that it was natuaral for the soup to taste a little wrong, seeing that it wasn't homemade, so I continued to dine. Finally, I got so suspicious of the flavor, I went to look at the expiration date on the can, and saw that the soup went bad in 2009. I then ran to the bathroom and puked my guts up. I was sick for a week, and I still can't look at soup without feeling a bit nauseous.
Tuesday, September 27, 2011
My Music, My Way.
Recently, I was in trouble for having "inappropriate" music on a school laptop. This was true of course, it wasn't the cleanest song, with one or two cuss words in the lyrics. I was told that I couldn't have that kind of music on my laptop, and my computer was re-imaged. Even though my kind of music (rock, medal, alternative, world music, classical, and others) get me into trouble sometimes, I don't plan on changing my taste in music any time soon. Now, I just won't put it on my school lap top.
My iPod playlists have anything from classical to heavy medal music. My taste in music is so
broad because I like to have a song or two for every mood I'm in at the moment. For example: if I want to relax, I might listen to Shinedown or All American Rejects. If I happen to be angry or frustrated, I might listen to Disturbed, 3 Doors Down, or Hollywood Undead. If I'm in a happy mood, I could listen to Panic! At The Disco, maybe some Ke$ha, a little Fall Out Boy, and possibly some fun dance music that nobody listens to.
If I had to pick a favorite artist or band, I would have to pick Disturbed. Their songs are really hard rock, the drums and guitar solos are epic, and the lyrics tell a story. I really love the way the music sounds, and you can really head-bang to the albums. But if I had to pick an all-time favorite song, it would be Youth of The Nation, by POD, because I really love the way the song tells about this generation of children, and it has awesome drum parts.
My least favorite artist, if I had to pick one, would be JUSTIN BEIBER. No disrespect to Justin, this is only on a music stand point. I don't really like the songs, his hair, or anything about him. I don't see why everyone is crazy for the kid, the songs seem to be a repeat of previous works from different artists, and his clothes seem to be just like Usher's, just in a way smaller size. You better be sure that I don't have any of his songs on my iPod.
The music my parents listen to certainly influenced the music I listen to today. Their music might be old, but it still is good as new to me. Journey, KISS, Rick Springfield, Queen, and others are also on my iPod. I totally approve of my mom and dad's music, and I kind of wish that those songs got more credit for being all-time classics.
Even though my musical taste widely range, my parents sometimes don't approve of my songs. I respect their opinion, though, and they respect mine, so I can keep the music as long as most of it is clean. I feel that I am old enough to choose which songs I like and which songs I don't, and I think my parents know that too.
ROCK ON LITTLE MONSTERS! (Referring to Lady GaGa's fans)
My iPod playlists have anything from classical to heavy medal music. My taste in music is so
broad because I like to have a song or two for every mood I'm in at the moment. For example: if I want to relax, I might listen to Shinedown or All American Rejects. If I happen to be angry or frustrated, I might listen to Disturbed, 3 Doors Down, or Hollywood Undead. If I'm in a happy mood, I could listen to Panic! At The Disco, maybe some Ke$ha, a little Fall Out Boy, and possibly some fun dance music that nobody listens to.
If I had to pick a favorite artist or band, I would have to pick Disturbed. Their songs are really hard rock, the drums and guitar solos are epic, and the lyrics tell a story. I really love the way the music sounds, and you can really head-bang to the albums. But if I had to pick an all-time favorite song, it would be Youth of The Nation, by POD, because I really love the way the song tells about this generation of children, and it has awesome drum parts.
My least favorite artist, if I had to pick one, would be JUSTIN BEIBER. No disrespect to Justin, this is only on a music stand point. I don't really like the songs, his hair, or anything about him. I don't see why everyone is crazy for the kid, the songs seem to be a repeat of previous works from different artists, and his clothes seem to be just like Usher's, just in a way smaller size. You better be sure that I don't have any of his songs on my iPod.
The music my parents listen to certainly influenced the music I listen to today. Their music might be old, but it still is good as new to me. Journey, KISS, Rick Springfield, Queen, and others are also on my iPod. I totally approve of my mom and dad's music, and I kind of wish that those songs got more credit for being all-time classics.
Even though my musical taste widely range, my parents sometimes don't approve of my songs. I respect their opinion, though, and they respect mine, so I can keep the music as long as most of it is clean. I feel that I am old enough to choose which songs I like and which songs I don't, and I think my parents know that too.
ROCK ON LITTLE MONSTERS! (Referring to Lady GaGa's fans)
Tuesday, September 20, 2011
Society is Going Down The Toilet
Monday, September 12, 2011
Hope After 9/11
My English teacher has asked my class to post a picture that represents (you guessed it) Hope after 9/11. Here's my picture:
To me, this sun rise over New York represents hope and a new day, a chance to start over and move on, even though the tragedy of yesterday can't ever really be forgotten. It shows that even when something tragic happens, the world continues to spin, the moon says its farwells, and the sun rises, and after the day is done, the sun sets, and the cycle repeats, even when we wish it didn't. I think that this post shows how to move on after the horror of 9/11, as well as other events that happen to us in our life.
To close, I would like to quote a certain poet:
"Into every life, a little rain must fall."
To close, I would like to quote a certain poet:
"Into every life, a little rain must fall."
Friday, September 9, 2011
Tuesday, September 6, 2011
Three of My Awesome Activities
As a very smart, fun, and entertaining young adult, I have many activities that occupy my time, some of these are: Theater arts, Art Class, and Band. I started in theater arts because my mom said I should be in Peter Pan, a fall show. I liked being a pirate, and went to theater camp last summer. I was in a play called Caberet, and got to throw a brick through a window, and the best part is that I didn't get in trouble for it! I also like art, because I am very good at it. I guess it started when I was five and I couldn't figure out how to draw a stick figure with clothes on it. I worked hard at it, and I still have the drawing of when I finally figured it out. After that, I was hooked. Since then, I have been obsessed with coloring, water colors, sketches, and any other art related thing. Last but not least, band. I started band because in sixth grade, you have to be in it. I faked playing the trumpet for about a year, and then around the end of school, surprise! I found out that I actually could play the trumpet! I have stayed in band since that day, determined to learn how to play Billie Jean, The Star Spangled Banner, The Fight Song, and many others. I love learning to play music, and I also love art and theater. Maybe one day, I'll write a play, and in it, I will paint, play the trumpet, and act, all at the same time!
Monday, August 29, 2011
My Awesome First Week Of School
On Monday morning, at 6:30, A.M, I woke up and hated that it was the first day of school. I mean, who really wants summer to end? For me, the first day of school means the beginning of tests, studying, heavy work books, and all that bad stuff. Not to mention being a freshmen, which is just bad. After I finished mourning my lost summer, I got ready and headed for school. The First day was easy, as most first days of school are. The rest of the week put me back in the groove of things, and school started to look better. I got into art, which is awesome, I was in band, which is fun, I got to make this blog, which is really fun, I understand some Spanish, and I don't have to do P.E this year! So, things are looking good right now!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)